Change is not defined by an outside timeline magically giving you more motivation, courage, and energy to change. In fact, most people are afraid of change and will do anything not to experience it. Change is related to fear, the unknown, and change usually requires you to give up on what you have now and that is a gamble that a lot of people are not willing to take.
So when do we change? We change when the alternative to stay in the current state is more painful than the change itself. That is the tipping point we are all “waiting” for. When we are no longer congruent with the self and that hurts more than to change. This does not mean we should sit and wait for the tipping point to occur to quit our job, lose the extra weight, or lean into a new relationship. We need to work for this to become a reality! Understanding that there is a tipping point can help define what change it is that you wish for, and what is stopping you from making the change you wish to see.
Procrastinating the needed change might just be a way for you to tell yourself that you can still not clearly see the change you need, or understand what you must give up, and the fear of the unknown is holding you back. This is not wrong or bad, this just means that you have some more soul searching and thought processing to go through to take the leap. Will you ever feel completely safe and secure when making a change? Never! It is in the fear and in the unknown that we grow, and this is inevitable. But you can make sure to work with your change in a way to feel more secure and supported along the way and to ensure success.
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. — Alan Watts
The moment of a New Year is a good time to reflect, look back on your past year, identify the good patterns, and the patterns you wish to change. This can be a good awakening to see the tipping points clearly, feel where in your life you are incongruous, and identify closer what that means for your life in the coming year.
Even a small change of habits can take a long time. I have a local foot massage parlor close to my home that I always go to. I do not particularly like it, but I am familiar with the staff and know the process there, so I always come back. Just next door there is another foot massage place that is cheaper. I’ve never tried it, and probably never would if it wasn’t for the fact that my foot massage parlor shut down. I then had no other option than to check out the place next door. I found it not only to be cheaper, but a lot better — better service, better offers, and better facilities. It took me one year and a forced change by the shutdown of my parlor for me to explore this option and change my habits. This is a very small insignificant change compared to the big decisions in our lives. What I am trying to say with this small example is that change is not natural to us, we want the known, the safe options, and there needs to be a lot of courage, pushing forces, a strong feeling of current incongruence, and guts for us to change without knowing the perks of the change and what we are giving up.
Reading this — what are your tipping points? What do you wish to change next year? And what is holding you back?
